Masala Movies and Few Medical Miracles of Indian Cinema

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Once a script writer narrated a script to me in which there is a scene were the heroine is chased by the villain group by car. On the way she finds hero (till then a total stranger to the heroine) waiting for a bus in a lonely place. She stops the car and offers help to reach his destination. I asked the writer who in the world will stop the car and offers help to a stranger on road that too when a group is chasing to kill. He answered without taking a moment that ‘he is not a stranger, he is the hero of the script. Heroine will stop the car for hero. What is ‘logic less’ in this scene?’! He pointed few old movies as examples.

How many of us really go to watch a mass masala movie expecting something related to logic? True that we all watch movies to get some pleasure and not for finding mistakes. So we don’t need to stick on logic for cinema but in my opinion there should be some sense for everything on screen. Superman will fly, Cobb can steal from mind, there is a thing called ‘time machine’, these logics are given in the very starting of the movie. That’s how it works. But why all (90%) mass hero movies in India are similar to Kung Fu Hustle and Matrix! Ooch, sorry these movies are new. The mass hero concept in Tamil and Telugu industry started long back, far before Matrix! Bollywood was much better till 2000. The plot always roamed around ‘a boy and a girl’. There were no super human movies to show mass but only romantic heroes to show comedy. Every romantic movie hero performed like Mr. Bean. Check a romantic Bollywood hit from 1990s. Now, they have post graduated in Masala mass movies. They can make a great actor like Ajay Devgan look funny easily (Singham). At least, in Tamil they don’t do that because here the ‘good actors’ are busy in experimenting with different extremes of the power of makeup and crazy alien costumes, and last but not least, practicing different psychic face expressions.
Thank God, our hero managed to escape from these people with dangerous weapons
Take five mass hero movies, you’ll be able to see many weird movie logic that is followed without fail. For example, poor vegetable vendors has to run away with vegetables otherwise he has to see his vegetables flying in the air, likewise atleast five people becomes superman when our hero hits one guy, all of our main characters are expert dancers. Leave the exceptional cases, let us look at the funny side. Our mass hero might be a normal guy who is looking for a job but in intro song, the whole city will be dancing for him/with him!
It is a medical miracle to come out without damaging your brain after watching a mass hero movie. I still wonder how they are able to create 1000s of different mass scenes with the same concept. Eg.: The intro scene of a mass hero! What all are the properties needed? Tons of flowers, hundred dancers and a huge market set! or a load of weapons, hundred stuntmen, and again a huge set of a market or godown! With this simple formula they have been making different mass intro scenes. SS Rajamouli must be the only director who tries creative fresh idea for mass scenes! I still cannot forget the Kattappa meeting young Baahubali scene! That headless walk and then the mass scene. The buildup was fresh.
Why there is always enough time for a dying character to tell the truth/secret? Even a great movie like ‘Yudham Sei’ has such a scene! We are used to it and we accepts when the other parts of the movie is impressive enough. Or say it is there, people sleeping and waking up with full makeup on. It is like Aliens in Hollywood movies. They talk English no matter whether they are from another solar system and without hesitating, we accepts that.
    • Mass hero is the hero who don’t care the explosion behind him. He simply walks towards the camera.
    • Mass hero is the hero who can control gravitational force.
    • Mass hero is the hero who can escape from all the bullets from the villain’s gun except the one which targets his shoulder.
    • Mass hero is the hero who gets time from villain to utter punch dialogues before starting a fight.
    • Mass hero is the hero who can make hundred people dance like him.
    • Mass hero is the hero who will dance for a Kuththu song in between the tense climax scenes.
  • ‘Mass’ of the hero is directly proportional to how casual he reacts after a powerful action scene.

Another thing which is unbearable in a masala movie is the buffoon character who walks with the hero in the name of friend. Vivek in Shajahan, Run and few dozens more. No idea why they are shouting instead of saying. Ear damage guaranteed. Vadivelu was much better in that point. Then came the even louder Santhanam! Why these comedy actors in all their movies talks to themselves and that too very loudly! The comedy dialogues which they deliver as if they are talking to themselves is one of the worst comedy idea used in Indian cinema. Ada paavikala! I am not saying ‘all the movies’ or ‘all their performances’ and actually I am not saying about them itself. I am pointing the way masala filmmakers use the comedy actors.
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